For Men's Health Week 2017 we asked comunity members to share their thoughts on the term 'Healthy' and how they look after their health.
In Jake's on words, he talks about how he's supported his physical health and the impact that has had upon his mental health.
For a long time, I've been a body positivity kind of person, I believe you should be happy and proud to be in the skin you're in. Being trans has made it hard to feel positive about my body because my chest in particularly wasn't how it looked in my head but I was practical in the sense that I knew my chest would one day match the image in my head.
One thing I really struggle with is being fat positive and having issues with my weight. I've been fat since puberty and taking testosterone put emphasis on my fat being redistributed particularly around my belly and hips. I hate my hips and I'm still dysphoric about them. I still feel like they are feminine but that is an issue cos I feel like I'm saying having a feminine body is a bad thing and also what even is a feminine body. Argh! It's my body and therefore it's a man's body. I don't know.
I've spent years trying to deal with my weight and failing. I've tried not eating, cutting things out and logging everything I eat to the point of obsession where even insignificant things like measuring how much milk I'd put on my coffee which is ridiculous. I would over exercise and starve myself. I still wouldn't be thin but I would have lost weight and therefore in certain people's eyes I was looking well despite that the fact I spent pretty much my entire day obsessing over every little thing.
I really hate people commenting on my weight whatever size I am. People telling me I've put on weight isn't helpful, I know I have, I spend almost every day thinking about it. When I eat a lot, don't comment, I'm likely in a depressive episode and comments like that will result in me binge eating. If I lose weight and people tell me I look good because of it makes me question my worth. Am i only worth people's time if I'm slim?
This year I've vowed to be healthier. I'm at my heaviest weight of 15 stone and I want to lose weight. For me to admit that is a big deal. I find it hard to feel comfortable in the clothes I have so if you have seen me in what look like jogging bottoms is because I want to feel comfortable and not feel like shit. Pretty much every t-shirt I own is tight on me. I struggle with jeans at the best of times but being heavier makes it even harder hence the jogging bottoms.
I'm cutting down on my drinking to try aid my weight loss. Also, when I was drinking a lot having hangovers really messed with my mental health. I'm trying to control the bad side of my brain that tells me I need to eat a whole cheesecake rather than a slice and telling me to drink more therefore potentially putting myself in dangerous positions.
For the past month and a half, I have had to take a break from exercising due to being in pain. I had been putting a lot of pressure on myself to try exercise in some way but after getting support from others I’ve realised that I need to let my body rest which in turn has been really helpful for my mental health.
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