Can I stop being gay?

At the LGF we would posit it is not possible to change your sexuality and not a good idea to try. It would be far more beneficial for you to explore the reasons why you are so unhappy with your sexuality.

Why do some people have problems with their sexuality?

Having a problem with accepting your sexuality is not uncommon and with help (counselling) it is possible to overcome and accept your sexuality rather than battle with it.

There are many individual reasons why some people struggle to accept their sexuality but a part of the reason will be linked to you being born in to a world that is predominantly heterosexual.

Your parenting, schooling, education, medical care, religion (if you have one), the books and magazines you read, the TV and films you watch, the music you listen to, and the laws you live under are all the product of a heteronormative society and culture.

Messages about homosexuality are often negative. Being gay is seen as a sin, a perversion, or a sickness. Over time you will absorb and internalise the message: heterosexual is normal gay is wrong.

When you become consciously aware of your own sexuality a conflict may arise within you. A part of you will want to accept being gay and start to express and embrace your sexuality. Another part of you will be saying, "Gay is wrong, it’s a sickness, sinful and perverted." The conflict arises, which part do you listen to? The part saying, "I’m gay"? Or the part that has been absorbed and internalised from the culture around you that is saying, "Gay is wrong"? This internal conflict makes it difficult for many individuals to accept their sexuality.

It is important to acknowledge your sexuality as it is going to be with you for the rest of your life; it is not going to go away! Your life will be far more rewarding and enjoyable if you accept and embrace your sexuality rather than try to battle against or ignore it.


The American Psychological Association has an excellent website with sections that explore sexual orientation at

Treatments Homosexuality a superb website that chronicles the history of medical and psychological treatments of gay men and women at

Asexual people may identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual or heterosexual and will experience attraction to other people but feel no need to act out that attraction sexually. A very informative website at