Amy Lamé


Do you think it’s harder to be gay and a woman?

Yes, I reckon so. I’m not saying that gay men don’t have their issues, but there are just so many expectations for women – to be the housewife, to be the mother, to have babies.  Women still have to fight general sexism, so being a lesbian on top of that can be hard.

It’s like the time I came out to my mother.  I was 19 and at University.

I had just joined the Lesbian and Gay Society so I thought, “I better tell Mum.”  But when I told her, she said that I couldn’t possibly know that I was gay if I hadn’t had sex with a man; as if I needed a man to define my sexuality.  Although, when I told her that I had, she didn’t know what to say.  It took her a while to understand, but I don’t blame her.  I think it’s a big thing to take in.

Amy Lamé

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You shouldn’t expect other people to take your coming out easily; you should just do it when you feel it’s the right time.

You need to be true to yourself, the main thing is to do it when you’re ready and when you want to. No-one has a duty to come out; not a teenage boy doing his A levels or the Prime Minister. It’s a private matter.

I think it’s good that being gay can sometimes be hard, it makes us extremely strong, determined and resourceful.

We are something different and I think we should really celebrate that.

About Amy:

Amy is a writer, presenter, performer and producer. Having worked at First Out, a London lesbian and gay cafe, Amy became prominent in London’s alternative lesbian and gay scene co- launching club night ‘Duckie’ in 1995 which continues to run today.

Amy’s varied TV career began on BBC2’s Gaytime TV, she developed and presented Channel 4’s The Staying In Show’, and is a regular on both TV and radio. Awards on her mantelpiece include a SONY and an Olivier.

She writes regular features on culture, travel and food for The Times, Woman's Own, DIVA, The Independent, The Observer and others. Amy is currently working on her first book.

Amy appears in our inspirational Aim High booklet, along with 19 other people at the top of their respective fields, showing sexuality should not get in the way of success.